| Often
you will hear the adage “No pain, no gain.” It’s an unfortunate
thought. It’s as though all your learning ability and
all your growth and maturity depend on some sort of medieval
torture. No wonder the thought of school, studying or
doing something different in life conjures up scary feelings
and thoughts for many people.
Is
this a belief we have to have? Are there examples of
times when people have learned quickly and easily? From
all accounts it’s a resounding yes. If we study history,
we find the best teachers have taught by example and with
compassion and love. If learning is always painful,
people tend to avoid future learning opportunities.
Why,
then, have all these instances been deleted? Perhaps
it has to do with personal change, work, and the fear that
seems to hold people back, that makes them blindly run along
any route of escape in order not to face that uncertain time.
They don’t seem to realize that they will face that same test
over and over in some form in life until they deal with it.
Perhaps it is what holds people back from facing their issues
and taking the first step.
Fear
is usually felt in the gut. Interestingly, this is also
where excitement is usually felt and the difference in specific
location between the two is about 1 ½ inches.
So, in the midst of feeling a kind of turmoil, we often don’t
distinguish whether what we are actually facing is fear or
excitement. The feelings are very similar, one being
negative, the other positive.
So,
the next time you are contemplating doing something totally
new for you, it might be useful to think of how exciting it
is to be doing something new, like going on an adventure or
journey and looking forward to what new discoveries you can
make and how your life will be enriched and how you can be
more fully alive. Rather than running from life, this
is embracing life.
Fear
is only useful in that it alerts us to danger, but when it
stays stuck in us, or we freeze up over insignificant things,
then we have an excess amount of it from our past. When
we have no excess of fear, fear is like a passing wind - it
alerts and is then gone so we can quickly and rationally think
about what we need to do in the present situation.
If a martial artist has an excess amount of fear or anger,
he will freeze up or over-react, suffer from tunnel vision
and be unable to think clearly. The negative emotions
get in the way. It is not the negative emotions that
help him function. Rather it is her/his awareness and
learning that helps a martial artist perform at his/her best.
Clearing
negative emotions from the past has a profound effect on learning.
One student I worked with (identity changed) had flunked Grade
8 and was going to flunk again. We cleared his negative
emotions of anger, fear, hurt, sadness, guilt and shame with
Time Line Therapy® (itself a quick and gentle process).
Afterwards, his teachers reported he was doing better than
ever, and he successfully completed Grade 8.
So,
too, we can perform at our best when negative emotions are
out of our way. We can think clearly and positively
about what life is offering us, the many choices available
and the things we can learn. It’s like being able to
look at life without blinders on, without the obstacles of
negative emotions or limiting beliefs to obstruct our views
or perceptions so we can move forward in our lives with excitement
and enthusiasm.
Monika
Nygaard is a Certified Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Trainer,
Time Line Therapy® Master Trainer and Hypnotherapy Trainer.
She can be reached at nlp4change@shaw.ca
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